Story time #3

Ok so now you kinda know most of why I have depression and anxiety and everything so now let’s talk about the people in my life recently who have now made me at the worst I’ve ever been and I’ll talk about the past people in a later story time blog.Ok so this year started of pretty good I had my bestfriend Taylor with me and my little friend group of Brandon,RJ Brown and Josh we were all friends we hung out everyday and on October 7th I met three new people named Anthony,CJ,Nick and Smily.Homecoming was just around the corner and me and Taylor wanted to go so she decided that I need a date and at the time I figured it’s best if I not go so she pulled me over and Nick introduces himself really fast and shows me Anthony and CJ now instantly me and Anthony kinda look at eachother and I thought he was kinda cute but no biggy so Nick says pick one to be your date to hoco and I kindly said I’m not going can I leave now and I walked away and went to hang out with my friends.Later that day after school id  decided to stay after school and hang out.Me and Taylor get together and walk to the store with Anthony and his brother,Brandon another Anthony(I liked him at the time)and Smily who I had just met after school.So we hang out for a while and me and Anthony Instantly clicked although him and Taylor had dated for three days and he still was crazy for her and it was noticeable me and him got along really well.You might thing that’s not strange but here’s why it is strange I don’t like new people I like to stay in my group and keep myself away from anything new so I don’t get hurt so for me and Antony to get along so well so fast was really strange. So we go each other’s snap chat and we talked everyday after that soon we completely stopped calling each other by our names and we would call each other best friend.At this time I started hanging out with Anthony and his friends so me and Cj got super close not as close as me and Anthony but we were close and me and nick got along pretty well to.Soon Me and Cj and Anthony would skype everyday it was great we all had fun then people started saying me and Anthony liked eachother which at the time I hadn’t liked him.So I got mad and people got really suspicious of is Cus we then started ditching together with me him and Cj in my photography class Cus I would sneak them in during class and we would hang out in this maze that had no lights and lead to the dark room.In this maze was a ledge that we’d climb on there wasn’t much space up there so me and Anthony would lay with eachother and cuddle while Cj sat on the other end of the ledge.This happen literally everyday and me and Anthony got even closer and we started calling eachother cuddle buddies.The problem here was Cj started to like me and didn’t like how close me and Anthony were Cus he could see that there was something there that we didn’t notice yet. So soon I had noticed I liked Anthony and we told eachother and began dating. Now here’s problem number two Cj still liked me and Cj is Anthony’s bestfreind but Smily also liked me and Smily is kinda like a brother to Anthony so they all told eachother they liked me and I didn’t know that all three of them liked me I thought it was just Cj and Smily.So that’s a problem Cus Cj got jealous and so did Smily now Smily stopped hanging out with us and Cj wants to know every detail of the relationship and nick just didn’t really care he just thought it was cool Cus he knew all along we would date. So Cj stopped giving me and Anthony alone time so there was no time to really spend time together without nick or Cj.By this time I was super attached to Anthony Cus id never let a boy in like this I was always scared to trust a boy with my secrets and my heart so this was new to me.At this point I’m like so attached that me and Anthony both tried to kill ourselves Cus the other tried so if he did I did and if I did he did.Yeah so we couldn’t live without eachother.So we decide we need alone time and we want to spend time together so we ditch a class and hang out and we kissed and did everything a cute couple would do then we skipped another class to be together a while longer so we stayed in the maze.During lunch we actually ended up having sex and we both lost our virgintys to each other. So nick and Cj notice at lunch me and Anthony both aren’t there with them and that’s strange Cus they knew we were both at school so Cj gets mad and wants to know what happened but we didn’t wanna say.Now eventually we got in a huge argument with Cj and it got bad enough that I fought Cj for telling Anthony to kill himself. So eventually we tell Cj what we did to shut him up and he gets mad.Now me and Anthony are closer than ever me and Cj are like bestfriends to and things were fine after the fight. one night I get a call from nick saying that Anthony can’t do this anymore and he wants to be single so he broke up with me using his friend.I break down Cus I had just lost my boyfriend and my bestfriend all in one like that’s the first guy I trusted and I ever really said I loved.So I tried to kill myself and on the way to the hospital he texts me and and just says “hey” as if everything is ok so I said I couldn’t talk at the moment because I was going to the hospital for trying to overdose.That was the last time we ever spoke he blocked me on snapchat and began to hate me for a reasons that I don’t know nor understand.So I try to kill myself a few more times and I did a two day stay my second trip to the hospital and then after that I went to the hospital one more time. So I’m kinda losing it cutting and doing everything I know Anthony didn’t like me doing but I was devastated so i just did it.eventually I got over it and now me and him hate each other me and Cj aren’t that close anymore we are just kinda distant friends and nick hates Anthony for what he didn and me and nick are now extremely close.So yeah you can probably see how that got me deeper into my depression because after we broke up i lost all my friends including Taylor and Brandon. So yeah that’s that story…